I wanted to share with you guys my struggle with infertility and endometriosis leading up to having Abigail. We are starting this process again. I know so many of you have dealt with and are dealing with this. Please know I am praying for you along this journey and am always here for you.
12/11/2013 we were blessed to bring our sweet baby girl Abigail into this world. We defied all odds and we finally got to eliminate the "I" word from our vocabulary. The "E" word unfortunately can not be eliminated. As she made her entrance, she had Daddy, Nana, Grandma Earley, and Aunt Jen eager to meet her. I think back now at those long four years before she made her entrance. The first three years were filled with a lot of tears, a lot of disappointment every month, but also a lot of hope and faith. I was basically told that I would not be able to have children on my own and maybe not even with help. As the doctor sat there and told me that I was dealt a bad hand of cards and my anatomy was shot, I felt my heart being ripped out. I felt my world crashing fast. I felt sadness that I could not give my husband a child. These are feelings that every woman and man goes through when they think that they are unable to have children. There were a lot of events that lead up to that conversation that made me literally want to punch that doctor. My whole life I had this awful feeling that I would not be able to have kids. I never had been diagnosed with endometriosis but I could not help but feel this way. My husband and I tried on our own for over a year to have a child. We decided to seek help after a year. My ob/gyn decided to perform a procedure called a hysterosalpingogram or HSG. This is where they flush out your fallopian tubes with x-ray dye. Sorry to get graphic but hey I have to be real here. I will admit it was extremely painful. She said all was clear:) I felt good about that but I was still hesitant. After this we tried a while longer and we had no luck so she sent us to the fertility doctor.
Yayyy. I had heard great things about him but everyone always said he had no bedside manner. I mean how do you not have a bedside manner being a fertility doctor. This is such a sensitive time for us woman. Well, we met him and we confirmed that his bedside manner was awful. We did not care though. We felt confident he would get the job done. He suggested that we take the IVF route but we wanted to take the slower route. We wanted to start the process of seeing if there was something wrong with me. Of course, he did not understand that. lol. After all, I was not getting any younger. Oh, how I love hearing that one:) He wanted me to come in and have an ultrasound to see if I was ovulating or if I had an endometrioma aka endometriosis. He said it usually does not show up on an US so he really did not know why we were doing this step instead of going on to the next step. I wanted him to watch my cycle for a month to see if everything was working properly. After all, he is the one who said he could do that if we wanted him too. Well, the day came where I had to go in for this US. I was SO nervous. My husband had to work. My mom offered to come with me but I said I would be fine. I felt this black cloud over me that morning. As I lay on the table getting ready for him to come in I literally felt like I could vomit. Of course, he came in and did not even acknowledge me. He was busy talking to his nurse about vacation. This made my nerves even worse. He began the US. As soon as he started he said well there is your problem. You have ENDOMETRIOSIS. CRASH....BURN...COLLAPSE. M heart sunk. My fear was confirmed. My reason for not having babies was answered but this was not the answer I wanted. As I peeled myself off the exam table, I made it to the bathroom and fell apart. How did I go 29 years without knowing this??? I left in tears and immediately called my mom. Of course she said that I was never to go back to the office alone again. She used a few words I can not say here about him. lol. That was my momma:)
12/11/2013 we were blessed to bring our sweet baby girl Abigail into this world. We defied all odds and we finally got to eliminate the "I" word from our vocabulary. The "E" word unfortunately can not be eliminated. As she made her entrance, she had Daddy, Nana, Grandma Earley, and Aunt Jen eager to meet her. I think back now at those long four years before she made her entrance. The first three years were filled with a lot of tears, a lot of disappointment every month, but also a lot of hope and faith. I was basically told that I would not be able to have children on my own and maybe not even with help. As the doctor sat there and told me that I was dealt a bad hand of cards and my anatomy was shot, I felt my heart being ripped out. I felt my world crashing fast. I felt sadness that I could not give my husband a child. These are feelings that every woman and man goes through when they think that they are unable to have children. There were a lot of events that lead up to that conversation that made me literally want to punch that doctor. My whole life I had this awful feeling that I would not be able to have kids. I never had been diagnosed with endometriosis but I could not help but feel this way. My husband and I tried on our own for over a year to have a child. We decided to seek help after a year. My ob/gyn decided to perform a procedure called a hysterosalpingogram or HSG. This is where they flush out your fallopian tubes with x-ray dye. Sorry to get graphic but hey I have to be real here. I will admit it was extremely painful. She said all was clear:) I felt good about that but I was still hesitant. After this we tried a while longer and we had no luck so she sent us to the fertility doctor.
Yayyy. I had heard great things about him but everyone always said he had no bedside manner. I mean how do you not have a bedside manner being a fertility doctor. This is such a sensitive time for us woman. Well, we met him and we confirmed that his bedside manner was awful. We did not care though. We felt confident he would get the job done. He suggested that we take the IVF route but we wanted to take the slower route. We wanted to start the process of seeing if there was something wrong with me. Of course, he did not understand that. lol. After all, I was not getting any younger. Oh, how I love hearing that one:) He wanted me to come in and have an ultrasound to see if I was ovulating or if I had an endometrioma aka endometriosis. He said it usually does not show up on an US so he really did not know why we were doing this step instead of going on to the next step. I wanted him to watch my cycle for a month to see if everything was working properly. After all, he is the one who said he could do that if we wanted him too. Well, the day came where I had to go in for this US. I was SO nervous. My husband had to work. My mom offered to come with me but I said I would be fine. I felt this black cloud over me that morning. As I lay on the table getting ready for him to come in I literally felt like I could vomit. Of course, he came in and did not even acknowledge me. He was busy talking to his nurse about vacation. This made my nerves even worse. He began the US. As soon as he started he said well there is your problem. You have ENDOMETRIOSIS. CRASH....BURN...COLLAPSE. M heart sunk. My fear was confirmed. My reason for not having babies was answered but this was not the answer I wanted. As I peeled myself off the exam table, I made it to the bathroom and fell apart. How did I go 29 years without knowing this??? I left in tears and immediately called my mom. Of course she said that I was never to go back to the office alone again. She used a few words I can not say here about him. lol. That was my momma:)